WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
