i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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