Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
