I'm so fucking centered right now
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
