I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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