how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Never underestimate the power of titties
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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