im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize