When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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