today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
