He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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