i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
