Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
