i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
