What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
no, he came in my armpit
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
