Me. At least after what I've been through.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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