today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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