Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
