I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
