Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
