Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
