can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize