i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
