It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
