I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
