Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
