dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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