I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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