She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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