you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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