so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize