She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
