Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
