i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
