I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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