I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
