belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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