I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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