yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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