hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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