Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
