How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize