chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
