woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
