Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
