We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize