I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
