Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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