Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I believe in your delicious
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
