That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
