I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
