I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
