it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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