oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
