Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
