My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
