Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
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