where am i from again
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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