i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
