Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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