I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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