I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
