wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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