were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
