Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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