I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
