I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
