are you still at the devil's house?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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