the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
